Whoa, That Was… Unpleasant

Sooooo…. as you may or may not know, I am a stress-eater. Or an over-eater when stressed? I tend to seek out very crunchy things (CHIPS!) of the deep-fried and salty variety. When all is well, I usually go for the sweets.

Anyways, I had a mad craving for chips last week, and I bought two bags. Went through them in in like 2 days. Why? Because I knew I had a crap-ton of stuff to do as finals week continually inches closer and closer. Okay, I shouldn’t be complaining. I just witnessed my boyfriend go through law school and studying for (and passing) the bar exam.

… but I’m going to complain anyways, HAHA.

Since I don’t normally eat chips, especially in such large amounts, my body retaliated. I became irregular … as in: “Oh, my. My morning cup of coffee did not do the trick!”

Long story short, I am eating normally again, and I am able to just sit down and do my darned work.

Having recovered from eating disorders, it is always a little scary to feel like I’m falling back into a crazy cycle. Perhaps the “irregularity” was inflicted by God… and He was saying, “Hey, slow your roll, buddy. Why do you treat your blessed and precious body like a wastebasket?” Or something. It made me realize what a huge difference my intake of food (especially crappy food) can make on my body.

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Now that we got all the unpleasant stuff out of the way, let’s move on to much nicer things!

I got in a 10-mile run yesterday. Gotta start the week off right, amiright?

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(IG: meeshelkim)

Nothing crazy. I had on my Holiday tunes, my Camelbak, and just went at an easy pace along the Great Highway up to a lookout point close to Land’s End.

BTW, that green headband is sweet…. it is so comfortable, great for the chilly weather (ears were happy), and it kept my earbuds in place. Remember how the earbuds kept getting blown out of my ears from the wind last time?

Jealous?

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Got it from Target. The Champion brand is awesomecakes.

Plus, I happened to be able to make it match with my Berkeley Half shirt and my green Mizunos. Perhaps the only time I will match from head to toe.

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Let’s hop back over the unpleasant stuff mentioned earlier… why do I feel the need to share some of the things that are considered TMI to most people?

Something that has to do with eating disorders or disordered eating comes with a lot of shamefulness and silence. When people go through it, it is usually done in secrecy. I want to break the silence and speak up about it.

Aren’t I embarrassed? Ashamed? Sure… but at the same time, I try to wake up each day with a new and positive mindset. Also, through Christ, I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). The old has gone and the new has come.

If you are in the midst of an eating disorder (or madly disordered eating)… especially if it involves several days of strict calorie restriction, followed by days of uncontrollable overeating (usually by yourself in your lonesome), do not despair. You are not crazy, and you are not alone. This is not a hopeless situation <—what I used to think in high school. It’s how I fell into depression.

You CAN find healing, and there IS hope! I found my healing and hope in God, and I truly pray that you can find Him, too.

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Today’s workout:

6.2 miles (54:XX). Gotta love these easy runs. I also love how the last part of my run always involves more than a mile going uphill (not a steep hill, but still). I’m convinced that if I keep this up, I’ll be able to train my body to hold a good pace at the end of races when I’m incredibly tired.

This was followed by about 40 minutes of core work (mostly Pilates, as well as some yoga).

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Do you wear a headband when you go running?

Music on a run… yay or nay?

What do you crave when you are stressed? Sweets? Salty stuff? Or do you lose your appetite?

6 responses to “Whoa, That Was… Unpleasant

  1. I stress eat as well, so I know exactly what your going through. I normally crave sweet food or junky fast food, and it’s horrible cravings too.
    I try, to eat them in moderation at those times now.
    I had no clue that I was a stress water until about 2 years ago, when I started to pay attention! Many years of abuse food wise before I became aware:(
    As long as you recognize these things, I believe you can stay in control:)
    Not that I’m a big chip eater, but I suddenly am craving the ruffles jalepeno popper flavoured chips…. Ahhhh

  2. Oh no! Sorry you’re so stressed right now :( I’ve been there! Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon! I crave salty or sweet haha. It just depends. I WISH I lost my appetite! You rock for sharing the intimate details of your struggles with eating disorders! I’m SURE you’ve helped at least one person.

  3. Pingback: Cross on a Hill | blessed with thunder thighs·

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